"Fond memories are all I want to keep..."

Today, I almost bumped into a blast from my past. I was going back into the car park as he was walking out. Luckily, I saw him before we collided. I think I opened my mouth to say something, but the look on his face made me change my mind. So I just smiled and walked away. After all, the last time we met was hardly the best of times... I'll call him "J", for using his real name would cause us both unwanted problems. J was one of my regular clients, from my days as a masseuse. One of my best clients. He was, in fact, my "Plan B". J was a lovely man: happily married, high management, with enough spare cash to spend his spare time sourcing out the best call girls in the area. I first met him at the sauna Christmas party, when I was still new to the job. That night, I didn't have much of a chance with him. The other girls saw money as soon as he walked in through the door with his smart suit and expensive shoes. I felt honoured that he called in the next day specifically to see me. Apparantly, he'd asked one of the other girls my name, and booked an hour with me in the VIP room, complete with a bottle of champagne and a very large tip. Most clients usually wanted a quick release, a bit of tease and tickle. Nothing personal. Just a pretty girl in whom to put their dick. But J was different. He actually wanted to know about me, about my life, and especially, what I liked in bed. He promised to come and see me again, though I didn't believe him at the time. And he did. Again and again until his visits were almost a daily occurence. One day, while we were luxuriating in the jacuzzi, he made me a proposition. "You could make a lot more money than you do here," he said. "Perhaps I could help you set up your own place somewhere..." He offered to buy me a flat to use as my new "place of business", where I could keep the profits in exchange for him to be able to see me whenever he wanted. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! This rich (and I have to admit, rather good looking) man actually wanted me to be his kept woman. I know that many women in the same situation would jump at the chance, but I wanted to play it cool. It was such a big step to take, and if things didn't work out... Well, it would be a problem. That day, he kissed me on the lips. Or rather, I let him. It had always been the unspoken rule that we didn't do that. It symbolised attachment. But I suspected then that he was falling in love with me, and in all honesty, I was developing an attachment too. Though for me, it was never truly love. I didn't tell anyone about J's proposal, least of all the other girls (who would have been so jealous if they knew). He kept visiting me, and every so often he'd ask if I'd thought about it any more. But by then, other things were happening too. My boss (later to become my husband...) and I had begun to flirt, to notice how good we actually were for each other, when before our relationship had been purely "business". My emotions were all over the place. "Confusing" doesn't even come close. J had no idea that I would eventually quit work to delelop my relationship with my boss (/future husband!). The day I broke the news, we were due to meet in a hotel. I stood him up. Just didn't have the nerve to tell him. He came to the sauna to look for me. At first, I hid away, unable to deal with it. I felt like I was breaking up a love affair, not an agreement with a client. One of the other irls tried to explain what had happened, and he started to cry. I couldn't bear it. I asked for a chat in private in the office (to have gone into one of the rooms would have meant certain death for us both...) and tried to make him understand. "You know how I feel about you," he told me, though he might as well have said those three little words. They hung in the air like an echo. I wanted him to know somehow that it hadn't all been just a charade, that I did feel something for him, and though I know I shouldn't have, I gave him one final kiss. A true kiss. Then J slipped something into my hand. "If you ever need me, for anything at all, then call me. I'll always be there for you, wether you change your mind or not." I still have his card hidden away in an old purse, though I never called him. Not even when things got really bad... When I saw him today, there was a flash in his eyes of what he remembered, those words he never said. The sun has set on that phase of my life. Fond memories are all I want to keep.